Wednesday, March 9, 2011

January 15, 2007

(Insert horribly sappy "civil rights" poem here)

Today felt as if it consumed itself, I arose early enough, but the time slipped away so quickly. Ellie had a temperature and has been tugging at her right ear. I practiced piano with her - she's quite the competition- then she fell asleep on my lap while I read from The Fourth Turning. I wrote about 3 paragraphs for my paper and polished off the Walden paper for submission to an online journal.

I watched Michelle at gymnastics, somehow I need to help her see or understand the power of positive thinking. She is very hard on herself when the teacher doesn't rave about her. She needs some more appropriate clothes and a go-for-it attitude. I'll try to encourage her more.

January 14, 2007

Periodically, we miss a Sunday at church. It's not something to be proud of or to turn into a habit. It just happened. Both B~ and I are suffering from lower back problems - probably due to leaning over a hospital bed several times a day. Today was a recoupment day. We read scriptures and I read to the children.

Ellie seems to have a stomach bug, Nicole wanted to learn how to write each letter of her name in cursive, and Michelle asked to start keeping her paint creations in an art binder/portfolio. They also built a fort from blankets, pillows and couch cushions. Spielberg made a Lego stop-gap animation and Ty bed-danced.

Blaine and I read. I practiced hymns. We watched family videos, and basked in family time. Definitely church next Sunday, and oh! we had French Toast - breakfast for dinner.

January 13, 2007

I had terrible insomnia last night and didn't fall asleep until about 5AM this morning. Not a very good way to start the day.

Tyler wasn't nauseous until about 11 PM tonight. I held he for quite awhile. We listened to a lot of music and did "arm dancing" today.

Spielberg went to a day camp at MD for scouts, then he and C~ went sledding down the drainage bowl at our old Stake Center. After dinner, he went over for a late night. While there, some other boy in the ward pressured him to look at something on the computer. He felt that he shouldn't and knew there was something going on.  All of the sudden a horrible picture popped up on the screen-it was of a scary nature. When he came home, he realized hoe disturbed he was and that he couldn't get the image out of his mind. We sat on the couch in his room and discussed a number of things.

I tried to help him recognize that the Spirit had prompted him. We talked about what happens when we don't listen to those promptings. He came up with how he wished he'd handled it. We also talked about the  importance of only letting good images into your mind (pornography for example). We also talked about peer pressure and ways to deal with it. Most importantly, we talked about dealing with our fears and relying on and trusting in Heavenly Father. I really enjoyed talking and sharing with him. He is a wonderful boy and I am very impressed by him. He commented that he tried to spare another boy from the same experience.

Our friends, the Ms~ came over and played Ticket to Ride with us. Michelle and Nicole showed off their gymnastics talents for them.

Michelle attended a friend's brother's basketball game, played, and played and invited Br~ (who happens to be a distant relative on my dad's side) over for dinner.

Nicole played in the snow with MJ. She was a very giggly girl today.

Ellie was funny as ever. Her arm seems just fine today, thank goodness. I think I changed 4-6 messy diapers today. I wonder if she is coming down with something.

I practiced piano and my handwriting today. I also studied Article One, Section 3 of the Constitution, a couple of pages from Cultural Literacy, and the Fourth Turning.

Dr. R~'s assistant, P~, phoned around noon to say that he would like to speak with us in person. We will be meeting with him Tuesday afternoon to discuss our options for treating Ty's tumor. I called his office to make sure that he had been updated on Tyler's progress and to tell him I had emailed Dr. S~ (of Florida)  about Ty's situation. His response and overall feeling was that the chemo wasn't working and that we should consider changing his treatment. I have been doing a lot of research and double checking to make sure the pathology is correct on the tumor biopsy.

I'm sleepy tonight and so had better close before I fall asleep on the book and wake to an ink-covered face. Lastly, I must mention how great B~ is. He helps so much with everything here and even played errand-runner dropping off prescriptions, buying groceries, and picking up pizza for dinner.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

January 12, 2007

Tyler's teacher and OT came over after school. I showed them how he loves to be moved when the music is blaring. Nate P~, the OT, came up with a way to modify his remote so Ty could skip songs. We'll try it and see if it works. We brainstormed some different ideas for things he could work on while laying down.

Tonight the whole family was dancing together. We took turns swinging Ellie in a blanket. She loved it. I accidentally hurt her wrist when I lifted her to spin around. I reached for her two arms and as I grasped her right hand/arm, I felt a "pop" at the pinkie side of her wrist. She started crying immediately and began flailing that arm. B~ took her to see Mike (bil and PT) and he checked her out. He felt she may have sprained it, but nothing major. He taped it and within 10 minutes, she was fine. I hope it lasts.

Michelle went with her. Nicole has a sick tummy and Spielberg's camp out got cancelled but he's going up during the day tomorrow to work on merit badges.

January 11, 2007

Tyler's sixth chemotherapy today. We were done by 4 pm, but the roads were so bad from the storm that it took us two and a half hours to get home. Poor Ty was moaning from having to sit so long.

His numbers looked good - his ANC was 1.2, not bad. Platelets were back up to 420. Blood pressure was crazy 150/98 and pulse 148. I'll check him again tomorrow and see if it's still high. Some of that may be stress from the hospital.

Michelle seems to be getting sick - stomach flu? I think that's what Ellie must have had. Let's hope Ty doesn't get it.

B~ had to work, so my mom went with me to chemo.

January 10, 2007

Quick day. Morning spent on the phone with insurance, doctors - you name it.

Michelle and Nicole went to Liberty Girls, and we listened to a woman who served a mission to the Navajo people. It was fascinating to hear about the coming of age ceremony for girls. Then off to gymnastics for Nicole and Activity Day for Michelle.

Dinner, scriptures and prayers. Young Men's for Spielberg.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

January 9, 2007

Michelle wrote down her first recipe today and she made caramel popcorn. It was very tasty. Aunt M~ helped her while I taught/sat in on one of my Key of Liberty classes in the basement.

Spielberg made a lot of comments during class today and I sure enjoyed him. He went shopping for scout winter camp gear with B~ tonight. We talked for about an hour after I got back from my Thomas Jefferson Basic Training Course class by Diann Jeppson and Jody Palmer. He told me all about every subject and everything that was happening at school. He said he was a little bit Lincoln-sick, meaning he missed the school he was at last year. In fact, he went over there after school one day to visit - he found that a lot of his friends from last year weren't still there. He really has a lot of curiosity and natural desire to learn. I hope to make it fun for him when he's home for school.

Ellie had a tumble today. She woke up from her nap very messy - her diaper had leaked all up her onto her back so I put her in the tub. I had just removed her shirt and turned on the water. I used a few wipes to clean her off a bit before washing her up She reached for some tub toys and slipped. She fell on the drain, bumping her cheekbone and right under the running water. It really scared her and it was the shortest bath she has ever taken. She has quite a bruise by her right eye. She has been very interested in looking at books lately - I am teaching her the sign for book and she's catching on. Her favorite book right now is about Baby Mickey Mouse - not quite a classic, but she loves it. Whenever we read scriptures, she points at the words and babbles along with whoever is reading. All the kids crack up and we usually have to put her to bed while we read.

Nicole just loves Ellie and is always kissing her. Nicole vacuumed all the dropped pine needles of the upper stairs - leftovers from the Christmas garland. What a good worker!

Tyler seems to be feeling better today and enjoyed the music. He got a kick out of the vacuum too. He is breathing very loud - I wonder why. He is starting to  have a difficult time urinating but he doesn't have a fever.

Tonight at the TJed class we did a vision quest. It was a very interesting experience. I will briefly relate mine. We imagined ourselves at a comfortable place (mine was the beach). It was a warm day with turquoise waster, gulls and waves rolling in. I was in a beach chair reading and enjoying the horizon. We were told to envision a doorway with no door. It had stairs going down, at the bottom we were presented with three doors. On the right was a red door - it felt hot- too hot to touch and behind it you could feel anger and pain. Upon opening the door you were to see the most horrible painful thing you could imagine. I saw Tyler in a casket, meaning he had died. I was overcome with grief and tried to stifle my sobs. Then we were told that our family came in. We all comforted each other and found strength together. We might not be finished, but we had to leave. Then we closed the door.

In front of us was a blue door and behind it was coolness and a feeling of distance. It was freezing to the touch. When I opened it, I was told to envision a community I saw what I thought was my extended family - maybe living relatives and then without seeing any faces I had the feeling they were other deaf blind families. Somehow that doesn't seem right either. Maybe they were ancestors - it seemed they were standing in a mist and in similar clothes almost as if they were transparent. We were told to imagine our family coming  in too. I'm not sure what we did specifically, but it felt like we gave strength and support there. We were to leave our family there and close the door.

The next door the one on the left was a yellow door and behind it pure joy. We opened the door and saw our family inside, enjoying each other. I imagined Tyler as able-bodied and B~ was tickling the kids and playing with them. When I stepped in the room, I had the feeling of, "Oh no what are you going to make us do now?" and then just as suddenly we were all enjoying a very peaceful loving time while I was reading to the children. I don't really remember what B~ was doing at this time.

Then it was time to leave. I faced the stairs and could see a light at the top, I was drawn toward it. At the top of the stairs, someone greeted me. It was Tyler all grown up and he put his right hand on my shoulder. His left hand he put into a pouch he was wearing and pulled out an object which he handed to me. I couldn't really make out what that object was but it seemed that I caught a glimpse of a silver bead (like the kind on my watch) but I had the impression that it was part of a chain or strand. I wonder if it was my watch - hmm. Then he put his left hand on my shoulder and pulled me to him and embraced me. Then he turned me away from him, and I was facing a path and the horizon.



There are many more details to this experience, bit I tried to keep it brief.