Friday, October 27, 2006

My doctor talked me into getting my thyroid scan done. I was close enough (halfway) to being ready that she felt another week of no meds would get me there.

I very nearly hit a large red fox on the way to my parents' home. Once there, I asked my dad for a father's blessing. We had a nice talk and he gave me a rather lengthy blessing.

He blessed me to continue being analytical, to realize that this is a time to make memories - good ones. To be there for my children and make it my priority to help B (my husband) in relating with and building strong relationships with our children (that it would be important should I be "called home" sooner than he is), to coach him on how to help me by being sweet and getting his attention and asking for his help, to help others but to let them do the work. He also said that as my father he wished to bless me that my body was healed, but that may not be Heavenly Father's plan for me.

Before that blessing, I knew I still had cancer. The blessing really cemented it for me and the scan became just a technicality to confirm it. 

On Thursday of this week I went in and took my radioactive scan dose and then today went in and had my scan. When I was done, they told me the results would be up in 30 minutes and to call my doctor for them. My mom met me at the hospital and we went out for lunch at the Italian Place. I called the doctor's office only to be told that nobody would be in until Monday. What?!

So Plan B - I called the cancer doctor from last year. They looked it up and said there weren't any results but that I could call the hospital and see if I could pick them up.

I went and picked them up. It was just as I thought. Here is an excerpt:

 "There is abnormal nuclide accumulation in the vicinity of the thyroid, lower than the chin marker and above the suprasternal notch marker. No abnormal activity is seen elsewhere on the whole body images."

I will Check with Dr. M on Monday and see what she suggests. I think I will ask for a PET Scan - might as well make certain it is not in those pesky lymph nodes or the bone (which I think it is) while we're at it. If I only have to be isolated 3 or 4 days, I will probably continue to keep Tyler home until I am sufficiently non-radioactive to be able to go to the children's hospital should the need arise.

I am concerned that if I send him to school, he might accidentally get injured or receive trauma to his tumor and require more surgery or treatment and I wouldn't be able to be with him. I am probably just being paranoid or over protective, but I'm okay with that.

The school is sending his intervener to our house for 2 hours a day so they can keep a relationship going.

I find it ironic that just over a month ago, I had a meltdown while I was driving about by myself and I told God, "I can't do this anymore."

I was referring to the massive amounts of Thyroid Stimulating Hormone, but considering everything that has happened since then I'd be okay with going back to handling extra hormones. The moral: do not tell God what you can't do, He knows better.

A bright spot, I think I may have found a surgeon who would be willing to operate on Tyler's tumor. It is Dr. Khatri at UC Davis in Sacramento, California. Maybe we will all go together on an RV trip - maybe not Gracie though, she doesn't travel well. A car is a small place for a loud baby.

Last Friday, B and Spielberg attended a Scout camp out together. I attended Michelle's Mother/Daughter activity for Achievement Days. It was a talent show, and I should mention that she played "Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater" perfectly. She got a bit embarrassed when she was done and turned a very bright red. Piano recitals will do wonders for her nerves.

Noreen helped me to make 28 -30 meals for the freezer-for a rainy day or when Tyler has his next surgery. they have all been good so far and it was such a wonderful service. They are in a rental home for the next month and didn't take their washer and dryer, so she also did her laundry while she was here.

Lastly, I am disappointed that I am still dealing with cancer - it stinks, but what is even worse is Tyler's situation - I just don't know what to do and neither does B~.