Sunday, February 27, 2011

January 7, 2007

Today was our ward fast for Tyler. We are hopeful that our will is in line with God's will. We are praying that he will recover. I received a discouraging email from someone with the same type of tumor. She said that most tumors get central necrosis (or death) when they grow very large because the center becomes farther from the blood supply.

I am still hopeful in Tyler's case because he has some "peripheral enhancement" as well. This means that some of the tumor is dying near the surface in the middle part of it.

B~ bore his testimony in Sacrament and I bore mine in Relief Society. I have never had such a feeling before - it was almost like I was pulled up there. I have come to realize even more the importance of prayer. For a time, I was so upset with everything that was happening to me (cancer) and to Tyler (tumor0 that I stopped praying. Our family still said prayers, but I would only lie in bed and think them - it made me less and less able to handle life. It wasn't until I started praying again that the feeling of helplessness went away and the faith, hope, and strength came back. I have my Bishop to thank for this reminder.

I know that I have had unjust feelings before that our ward is very self-absorbed, but I'm beginning to realize that we are all dealing with trials and most of us are doing the best we can. Having the ward fast with us was a n amazing experience. It is wonderful to feel the support of so many people. In some ways, I hope so much that the Lord's will is my will - for his complete recovery - I don't want any of the children to think their faith and prayers are not being heard.

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